My love for Writing!!!

Writing is such a beautiful gift, if you have a passion for it. Some people are born with this gift, while others just learn to write by taking English classes, or even by keeping a journal. I simply started writing when I discovered that I could vent all the emotions I was feeling inside, and express myself in way that would otherwise be impossible.

I grew up reading a lot of books, from Enid Blyton books, Disney stories, to bible stories, I just loved engaging my mind, and learning about new and exciting things. So while other kids would be outside playing, I would curl myself in a corner completely absorbed in a book (I was wired). In the process of reading, I discovered my passion for writing.

I realized I had so many wonderful ideas about family, relationships, work, and interesting information about life in general, and all I did was just talk about them with the people I came across, that were interested. And when I would discuss topics with my friends, that was relevant to their life’s experiences, I‘ll noticed some of my friends trying to take notes, or pausing to think about what I just said.

Sometimes people would call me up and ask me questions about things they were struggling with and I would offer my advice but at the same time leaving them room to think things through for themselves. It suddenly dawned on me that if I could write about some of the things I talked about, it would help me remember them, but most especially help me stay consistent with my words, so I don’t get people confused.

I love to write about things that resonate with me, and things that I truly care about. I love to talk for example, about how to build a strong family, how to get along with people, how to handle relationships, how to discover one’s purpose in life est. (You get the gist). I have to be able to understand, and feel what I’m writing about to deliver it well.

I don’t try to limit myself in my writing, I can write about just about anything, for example, I can write about the details of my day-2- day life, to what I’m passionate about, and even go on to talk about what I can spend my life defending. But the area that I can represent very well is the issues and problems people face in life; because that is the area I believe anyone can identify with.

I can’t fully express how excited I am, when I get feedbacks from people who take the time to read my blog, or even friends who encourage me to continue to do what I do best which is to write. Reading your comments and feedback encourages me to grow not only as a writer but also has an individual. Thank you guys so much!!! My love for writing comes from my deep desire to learn, and to grow, and if that is one thing I can share with the world, that would make me very happy.

Every experience in my day-2 day life is an opportunity for me to turn into a teaching experience. My motto for life is: as long as you have breathed, you have a purpose and a mission to life.

I encourage you all, to stick with me, as I unravel some of experiences in life good or bad, and the lessons I have learned from each of them.

Reflections in the Mirror

It is very important in life, to sometimes take some time off to reflect on our life. It is good to look back and review our sucesses as well as our failure, and also think of new ways we can make our lives better. For me, doing this comes too easy, because there is no moment that passes by that I’m not thinking about my future, and the choices I am making now with my life. I know life can get very busy at times, that it feels like from the moment we get-up, there are tasks to be accomplished until we go to bed. If care is not taking, we go through life feeling empty, and even frustrated because we are constantly doing something which will end-up draining the energy out of us. Making time for ourselves not only helps us to stay sane, but it also enables us to understand “who we are” better. We get to know ourselves in a deeper way, for instance, we know what makes us different from the next person, what characteristics we possess,and what we’re good at naturally.The only way to find the answers is by being quiet, and looking within.
I admire people, who are confortable in their own skin, and who are excelling in the work that they do that it makes them stand-out. Without even realizing it, I have tried to imitate some of the characteristics that I see in these mentors, and role-models in my life. But the truth is: God made me different and no matter how hard I try to be like somebody else , it is not going to work. I have often wondered what makes me unique, because when I see people like Mariah Carey, or Whitney Houston, what is distinct about them is their voice, when I look at actors like kate Winslet, Will Smith, Denzel Washington, I immediately recognise their acting ability b’cos they are very talented. Even Role-models, and mentors in my life, like mothers, teachers, aunt’s, and uncles, who have influenced my life in a tremendous way have something special about them. When anyone struggles with their identity, or their purpose, they tend to compare themselves with other people, who have qualities they respect, and when they’re not comparing, they’re trying their best to be like someone else other than who they are. And this is what I have tried to do for years, be everyone else but myself. It is great to have role-models in our life, people we look up to, but there is something wrong when we begin to idolize these people or try hard to become like them. Everyone of us, is unique in our own way, and have something special to contribute. When we find God and give him first place in our heart and life, then we find ourselves. Be as honest as possible when God reveals certain truths about yourself. The key to being free is by acknowledging that we’re not perfect, and we do make mistakes but we can learn from them and become a better person everyday. It took prayers, and godly people speaking the truth to me, that helped me accept myself. The result of loving me, and having a positive self-image was incredible; it has not only brought joy to my life, but it has made me more aware of different talents, and gifts that I wasn’t even in touch with.
The beauty of being in touch with your essence, (ie your true meaning) is that you learn something new and intresting about yourself that will help you as journey through life. Isn’t that we want in life to get to know ourselves on a deeper level, that the picture we portray to other people is our best self. One of the suprising things I learned about me, was understanding that many of the qualities, and characteristics, that I admired in some of my role-models, I already had only in a different way. I encourage you everyday to dig deep and learn new truth about yourself, and quit comparing yourself with someone else. If each of us could find that one thing that sets us apart from everyone else; this world would be a better and brighter place.

Women and Relationships

Love isn’t that what women search for as we risk letting others get close to us. Whenever you see a woman open up and be vulnerable to the man in her life, all she really wants is to be accepted and loved for who she is. Every woman I know want to feel love and to be loved, and often times the most important relationship in a woman’s life apart from God and family is her relationship with a guy. Women love the attention, and the excitement that comes with being in love and in a relationship with a man. Falling in love or being in a good relationship is a beautiful thing, because loving is good for the soul. It is very easy for any women to think that just because someone loves me, then I can begin to feel good about myself. Often times young ladies rush to become someone’s girl-friend believing that their self-worth or value will increase just because they are in a romantic relationship. What I hope to share in this writing, is to help women recognise that their worth, and value cannot and should not come from a man/guy validating them. I also want to help women prepare themselves to be in a loving, and a healthy relationship.
First of all women need to know and understand where true love comes from. Unconditional love starts with God, God’s love for us is eternal it just never ends. He loves us even we disappoint him, fail him, make mistakes, and even give him reasons to stop loving us. God loves us even when we cannot love ourselves. When women begin to understand how much they are loved by the one whose love surpasses all human love, it becomes easy to love ourselves.
Self-love is the next step to being in a loving relationship because we cannot give away what we don’t have. Sometimes a boy-friend’s presence can take the place of real self-esteem and self-love. Women are defined by their relationships, they spend so much time supporting, helping, and nurturing the people in their lives. If for some reasons they don’t get this help, support, and nurture in return they feel empty. Take for example when I was in my mid-teens I was very insecure and extremely shy. I didn’t like who I was, I always wished I was something different. I would say things like I wish I had a more outgoing personality, I don’t like the way I walk or I wish I had more here and less there and on and on. I’d talk to myself in this way all through the day and even though I had few guy friends I wasn’t in any serious relationship. If a guy or anybody for that matter would compliment me, I would always ward off their compliments (either verbally or mentally). For example, if you say “wow you look great”, I’d say, oh it’s a new outfit. “If you say my room looks neat”, I would reply by saying “you should see my closet”, If you say, “you are a very smart girl”, I would tell you I failed math class or something. I always rejected the truth about myself; in my mind I couldn’t understand how people could say such kind positive things about me. The truth is, I was looking for love, and I wanted a guy to tell me how good-looking I was or how lucky he is to have me. But I couldn’t keep any man because I didn’t understand then that I had to love myself first before I could love someone else.
Confidence will go a long way in helping a woman find love. Men are attracted to women who believe in themselves and are not afraid to take a risk or walk with confidence. When a woman feels confident, you can tell by the way she walks talks or even carries herself. She is not ashamed or embarrassed by the way she looks, or how she walks, she carries herself with so much grace. Love springs from within and confidence comes from our awareness of our own potential. We don’t have to have it all together to be confident and beautiful. We can be confident in the fact that we are unique in our own special way. As women we should never apologize for who we are because we special and unique and no one else is like us. As women, we need to get to know ourselves and understand our strengths as well as our weaknesses. Sometimes having a boy-friend before our personal growth and development can hinder our ability to finding out who we really are on the inside, and when we are young that’s the time to invest in our self.
Another thing, women need to stop doing to finding love is to stop searching for men like it is a life or death situation. I know some young ladies who love to talk about guys or finding the right one like that is the only topic in the world. Ladies don’t search for guys, guys find you. Most times when you’re doing your own thing or engaging in some kind of activity that will facilitate your personal growth, suddenly you find love in the most unexpected places. There are a lot of things women can do, and having a boy-friend is not the most important thing in life. When women don’t make finding a man their priority, they suddenly find somebody really nice and that blossom to a wonderful relationship that may lead to marriage.
My last point is that women need to have an idea of what they are looking for in a guy. You and I need to define in our own words, what qualities we are seeking in a relationship. By doing that, we are in a way ready to identify or spot the guy when he finds us. It doesn’t have to be a long list; it can be as simple as a guy who is honest, trustworthy. For me personally I love to be friends with the person I want to date. Once friendship is established, then I know trust and honesty will follow because to be good friends with somebody I have to be able trust them and also be real with them. Other qualities include willingness to sacrifice or compromise, share the same values, sense of family, mental stimulation, giving, romantic, smart, spirituality, compatibility and the list goes on and on. The bottom line is you know yourself and what qualities are important to you. We also need to realize as women, that being in a relationship doesn’t bring happiness we‘re all responsible for our own joy. Speaking of being happy for the longest time as far as I remember I was unhappy, I was always looking for something or someone to make me happy. In my mind I imagined one day finding my prince-charming and being swept off my feet, but the truth is that never happened. I found true meaning to life when I looked inward.
Everybody makes mistakes nobody is perfect, but when we learn to love ourselves, find inner strength or confidence, and also know what qualities to look for in a guy then it is easy to have a loving healthy relationship. I love you all my friends and please know that you’re special to God and to me, and you deserve the best in every area of life and especially in your relationships
Much love
Charity.