Equally Yoked What it Means

"Being Equally Yoked can be understood when you get the picture of what a yoke really is. It's a device used to hold two animals together. If you are an ox attached to another ox for the purpose of work, then the two of you cannot stray in different directions. If one isn't carrying an equal amount of the work, then they are unequal and the work isn't done efficiently or sometimes not at all.
In our spiritually lives, we have spiritual work to do. The work isn't the same as what an ox has to do, but we have work/our calling in life and we have the commands that Christ gave to us (to love each other, love our enemies,
prayer, fast, e.t.c).
The person that you are married to, courting or dating is someone that is an important part of your life. In a way, you are yoked to them. If you are yoked to them in the way that you both aren't trying to do your own spiritual work, then your joint spiritual lives are going to suffer.
Being equally yoked, just like those oxen, is that you are both going in the same direction -- in this case -- spiritually. This is especially important in relationships that have the possibility to result in a marriage. Stop for a minute and reevaluate things and see if you are going in the same spiritual direction. If you aren't, you will end up hurting the relationship, and yourself. A relationship needs that spiritual aspect as well as the rest of it. If you aren't going in the same direction, sit and figure out if you WANT to do something about it NOT for the relationship alone but because you want to get back with God in the proper way".

Greatness Comes at a Great Price

You will know you have been chosen to fulfill a higher calling in your life, when you have to go through long periods (which often takes months or years of preparation) being in the valley where your faith is tried & tested beyond what you can humanly endure. A place where you feel attacks coming from every angle, because the enemy is throwing every darts, attacks, and setbacks your way, to cause you to give up on your calling, doubt God, or step outside his will. This is the point where you experience so much frustration because your adversary will use any and everything to get to you. The calling will require you to walk a solidary path (where you will feel at times isolated from the people in your life and cut off from what's going on in the world), You’ll also be greatly misunderstood by people, even people you love and care for, as well as your family and friends. A place where you wouldn’t have many people who you can relate to, because you’re experiencing life from a higher perspective, You will also be cut off from a lot of things you depended on for support, so you can learn how to depend solely on God. You find yourself praying more than you have ever prayed in your life, because your strong prayer life, and your constant feeding on the word will sustain and strengthen you for what lies ahead, and also build your faith muscles. You will find your old man dying, along with your fleshly desires, so you can be submission to the things of the spirit. But above all the person you become in the process after God refines you by allowing you to go through the fire, will be the most rewarding. So when you do stand in your calling, you will be fully equipped, and filled with God’s grace, power, & anointing as you carry out the work he has called you to do. ‪#‎GreatnessComesataGreatPrice ‪#‎WisdomisRequiredofyou ‪#‎HigherCallingComeswithGreatResponsibilites ‪#‎ManyareCalledfewareChosen ‪#‎YouhaveBeenChosen.

Ways in Which People often lose their Identity & Purpose

When a person has spent a lot of their time admiring or idolizing other people because they genuinely like their personality, their aura, how they carry themselves, and the ways in which they express themselves using their gifts or talents; it becomes difficult for them to either find who they really are or to separate themselves from the people they look up to and greatly admire. You can’t find your true self when you are constantly surrounded by inspirational people or people who are fully grounded and stable in who they are, because they will rub off on you and can influence you profoundly without you realizing it. You find yourself indirectly trying to be like them or imitating what you see them do, and before long you begin to lose your true self and to take on some of the characteristics you see in them. It’s almost impossible to love something deeply or be so attracted to something without it affecting you in some way. You will become like the people you surround yourself with, especially the people you spend a great deal of your time studying, following, or idolizing, and before long their purpose will become your purpose, and your identity will become similar. When that happens, you have lost yourself.

          It becomes dangerous when the people who are drawn to you, (i.e your biggest fans & followers) become attracted to the “false you” (i.e the person they think you are) or the person that you have become in their eyes, as opposed to the person you really are. Your consistent devotion to the people you love & admire can be the very thing that cause you to lose yourself, because the focus is on them rather than on your growth. The more you have your attention on them, and what you like about them, the more you neglect yourself. You can’t have your attention divided on several things and still be able to maintain your focus, what you are focused on will shape your beliefs, your values, the way you interpret the world, how you see yourself, and this will ultimately impact how you live out your purpose. I am not saying its wrong to admire people or to have role-models, but it has to be in moderation and not done excessively. The time you are spending trying to keep up with what they are up to, the things they are working on, and the projects that they put out, you can spend some of that time pouring into yourself, and working on your gifts and talents, or even seeking God in helping you identifying who you are and what your purpose is, and in building your relationship with God.

Unless you become strong in your identity, it’s possible for anything to come to distract you, and to move you away from the core of who you are. This happens all the time for people in business, in the early and middle stages of building their career, for women and sometimes men while raising their children, and especially in relationships. In other words, this can happen to anybody, we just have to be mindful when it’s happening and retrace our steps before we get far along. I am going to share some of the key areas people lose themselves.

Relationships: This is one of the biggest area people begin to lose their identity because they become consumed with loving the other person in the relationship. When we are in love or when we deeply love another, we make the other person our number one priority and we are constantly looking for ways to express our love to them, or to make them happy. So we begin to pour ourselves into them, investing our time, resources, heart, and basically everything we got, to the point that we begin to neglect ourselves and our own needs. They become our focus and the center of our world, and we can make them dependent on us, and when we’re absent even for a short time, they wouldn’t be able to survive without us. They constantly crave our presence, desire our attention, and our love, and when we are not around for whatever reason, it feels to them there there is something missing. The people who give and give in relationships often struggle with what their own unique identity and purpose is, because they have made their partner visions, goals, and purpose their own, and they have lost a sense of who they are in the process. Some caring partners will actually encourage their significant other to find their passion, and what they are called to do, but may not give them the space and time they need, to do it because they still want you to take care of them in the same capacity you were doing before, while trying to figure out your purpose and your identity, and this makes it hard on the other person.

Raising Children: I have seen and heard of people who gave up their life for their kids. By that I mean they gave up so much in other to see their kids happy and successful. Some people had a life before the kids came into the picture, (i.e they were pursuing their dreams, traveling, caring for their husband e.t.c) but the moment they had their first child, they stop doing some of those things so they could be more emotionally, mentally, & physically present for their children. To them seeing their kids have the things they didn’t have growing up means the world to them, and especially if they came from broken homes, they want to make sure that their kids know, no matter what happens Mom or Dad or both are always there for them. This sacrifice and investment made by parents eventually pay off, but what they can’t get back however, is the time they spent pouring their energy into one area of their life. At times the longer you spend moving away from the real you, the harder and the longer it takes finding yourself again. Nothing in this life is worth you losing your identity and your purpose, no matter how valuable that thing or person is. Your purpose and identity is the reason you were created and what defines who you are.

Role-Models/Mentors/Idols: People who are great at what they do, have spent a great deal of time working on their craft to become what it is today. Nobody arrived at greatness overnight, or didn’t have to go through some difficult things to become the person they are. So when you get to hear about them or see them, they are already come a long way and it looks like they were born that way. Some people find themselves comparing themselves to this people, and wishing they could become like them. They start to read about them, follow them on social media, buy their products, read their blogs, and become so obsessed with the person they admire to the point that the person becomes their passion. Everything they do, is inspired in a way by those significant people in their life, they see themselves in them, and they start to plan their lives to match theirs. A person who invests a great deal of time studying the people they admire, before long will begin to take on the spirit of that person. When that happens they are no longer living their own identity, and it would be difficult to identify their own purpose apart from the people they love. Like I mentioned earlier, whatever you focus on long enough, you’ll become like. You don’t want to be like anyone else, you want to be an original, the person God made you to be.

No one should become more important to you than your true self, you were created in the image of God, not to be like someone else. And if the people you are connected to are rubbing off on you strongly, then you need to pull back and spend some time away from them so you can regain yourself, and to also find out what you truly want and desire. Take care of you first, so you can have something to pour into others, and you shouldn’t be pouring into others your entire existence. You cannot make a real impact in other people, when you are living a lie, or when you are not sure of who you are. It’s good to have somebody in your life that you consider a positive role-model or a significant person in your life, but be careful that they do not become your idol, or take God’s place in your life. You cannot become your best self why at the same time, moving away from everything that makes you, who you are.

People search for great men/women and are attracted to them, not because of what they have, or who they know, but rather for what they know. What a person knows, is what sets them apart, and places them in a position of influence. People came far and near to listen to King Solomon's great wisdom, and to witness firsthand the depth of his knowledge on things, they didn't come to see him because of his wealth, but because of his wisdom.

One of the best ways to bring about change in someone life, is not to pray for them to change to conform to the person we want them to be for us, but instead pray that we are not in the way of that change from happening in their life. Sometimes we need to step back and evaluate what is actually going on, to see what we may be missing. After we have prayed we need to give the other person the freedom & the time they need for God to work on them and to reveal the truth to them in a way they can handle, so their heart can be ready to make the change. No one can change anyone or make them do what they don't want to do, or are not ready to do. Only God can change their heart, and he can't do that when we are holding on tightly to them, or trying to force the change to happen.

The wise way to live, which can also be very liberating when we know how to live like this: is learning how to separate "who you are" from "what you have", "what you do", and from "what you are going through". All those things are part of who we are, but they are not our identity. Maturity is not allowing who we are become easily influenced by what's going on the outside.

 

On Significance

 I have found that money can take you places you never dreamed of or imagined, it can open a lot of doors for you, it can give you so many options in life, it can even put you in a position of power, where you're able to meet some great people, and influence a lot of people. But one thing money wouldn't give you is Significance. Significance doesn't necessarily come from how how much money you have, or what you have accomplished in life, its tied to what's in your spirit, and what people can feel in your presence. its this greatness & uniqueness that flows out of you, that can't fully be put into words. People just know when they are around someone truly remarkable. and it's something that comes from within.

The Kind of Support One Needs As they go through the Process of Fulfilling their Calling

 

Walking in the calling God has designed for you is a big shoe to fill. It will come with many trials and testing and will require a great deal of sacrifice on your part and also great faith to accomplish it. Nothing prepares you for the personal journey, you would have to go through to as you prepare to operate in your calling. Once you answer the call, you will be faced with many unforeseen circumstances, doubts, and times where you would be completely discouraged and be tempted to give up. I believe even though everybody has a calling on their life to accomplish something God has assigned them to do. There are just a few people who have a higher calling attached to their purpose in life, which involves a whole lot of people and is for a greater good. Due to the magnitude of that specific assignment and the price to be paid in fulfilling it, not everyone can fill that role. God will only give us what he believes we can handle. Even though we all want to be used by God in the world to make a great impact on a broad spectrum, if given the task not many people will succeed at it, because it’s easier said than done. The people we see and even admire as a result of their great faith, depth of wisdom in a particular area or about life in general, or people making a global impact, are the people God has entrusted with a high calling.

               In this blog I share some insights on the kind of understanding and support one needs as they journey through life to fulfill the call of God on their life. This applies to anybody who is currently going through the process of preparing for their calling or in walking in it, or who knows somebody who is presently at this point in their life. But this especially applies to people who have a great calling on their life to pastor, counsel, coach, or have the gifts of healing, clarity, or restoration and are able to minister to people in a deeper way that can create a long-lasting change in their life.

I wrote this blog to help people understand how to best support a loved one, friend, lover, family member, who is currently or has been going through a wilderness experience to prepare for their calling. It’s a lonely journey and often times people who go through this process do not have the right support and help they need to overcome this season of their life. I pray this blog helps you understand that loved one, partner, or whoever they are better and to help you become the presence of strength and support that they need as they go through their dry seasons. Or for the person going through this right now, I want you to know, “you are not alone in that journey”.

               One’s calling will not only impact the person who has been chosen for the assignment, but it will also affect people who are connected to that individual. For instance, the magnitude of your calling will greatly impact your family, your spouse, or future partner, your children, and your friendships/ relationships. Which is part of the reason why most relationships end in the process of fulfilling the call of God on your life. Because these friendship or relationships would need to change or end in order to accommodate the level of your calling. Even the dynamic of family relationships begin to change because a person’s ideas and philosophies on life are changing, and faith will no longer be a concept understood in their mind, but a reality that they would have to live and face on a regular basis.

 There is a certain degree of support and understanding that a person needs when they are been prepared for their calling or ministry; and this is not always well understood by people who are close to them or to people watching from the outside. Keep in mind the people going through all this changes are trying to make sense of what is happening to them, and they are not in a position to offer you answers or clarity of what to make of their life or their present situation. I know it’s not easy and sometimes it is painful not to know the details of what is going on in that person’s life. The reason you want to know is because you care about their wellbeing and may want to help in any way you can. However, believe me when I say this some of these people want to be open and share what’s happening to them and what’s going on; but they don’t really have the satisfactory answers to give you, that you may be looking for. Sometimes there is no understanding or answers when you are going through, what feels like a wilderness experience. They just know that’s where they are, they are not quite sure how they got there, or the way out of it. One way you can support them in this area, is by giving them the space they need, choosing to love them unconditionally even when you don’t understand what they are going through and not giving up on them. Giving people going through their wilderness experience, their space doesn’t mean you leave them completely alone or forget about them, it simply means you apply wisdom in how you deal with them. You have the discernment to know when to be present for him or her, and when to step back, you also know when to speak, and how to express your words in a kind and non-judgmental way.

The second kind of support these people need; is your unconditional love and understanding. Keep in mind these people are not going to be easy to love. They are going to push you away when they really need you to be there, there are going to be silent, when you need them to speak. They are going to be very sensitive during that time because God is working on their hearts as he prepares them to walk in their calling, and they are also going to be spiritually heightened during this time, because they need to fine- tuned their ears, and their spiritual senses to hear God during that time. The one voice they need to hear in this difficult season of their life. So at times they will overreact to something small, and/or become defensive in their response because they are trying to protect their vulnerability from what they perceive to be an attack coming from you. They may also be feeling a sense of failure or disappointment of letting the people they care about down, as well as a helplessness in not knowing what to do about it. This is partly due to the fact that they have not learned to differentiate their personal circumstances from who they are. They see what they are going through as who they are. Which is why they need you understanding and unconditional love at this time.

They need your patience our timing of when we want things done/accomplished differs from God’s timing. From our human standpoint, things may be taking too long, and it may seem like months have passed and even years and yet they don’t seem to be any visible change or progress in their circumstances/life. Plans that they have initiated haven’t been fulfilled, goals were not completely met, and they may have experienced one delay and disappointment after another. Which is slowing them down and affecting the changes they want to make. They may also be feeling the pressure spoken and unspoken from others who have expectations of them, which adds to their anxiety. This is where your patience comes into play because your timing of when you want to see things change or see your prayers answered may be completely different from God’s timing for them. For the person experiencing the wilderness experience, my advice to you, is to not rush things and to wait for God’s perfect timing on that matter. For the people greatly affected by the time is taking to get to one’s destination, my suggestion to you, is not to pressure them to make a decision before they are ready or before the timing is right. Exercise patience with them, sometimes they may not be the ones intentionally prolonging things.

Pray for them more than you nag or complain about them. I have found, prayer goes a long way, you can do more on your knees in prayer for them, than your words can. Remember the battle they are fighting is not physical but spiritual. In other words trying to fight or address a spiritual battle through physical means does not always yield the right results. It might make things worse because you will be responding out of frustration and anger instead of out of love & understanding. Fight this battle with God through prayer.  As you pray for them as often as you can, it softens their heart and opens their mind to open up to you more or receive the help or support you are offering. Prayer also allows God to work speedily in their situation.

Not every help or support you offer will be what they need. You will need a better understanding of what a person is going through, and the lens in which they are experiencing it to be able to provide/offer the right support to them.  And this understanding comes from your relationship with God, and how in tuned you are to his voice and promptings. Any support or help without an understanding of the big picture is not really helpful. You also have to keep in mind the timing of it, you may have a great suggestion or the solution to their problem, but if is brought at the wrong time it would not be well received. You also have to ask yourself before you offer any assistance; who is going to benefit from this help me or them. Is best to help when we know for sure we are not going to derive any personal gain or satisfaction from the people we are helping.

 Lastly for the people who are on the journey of fulfilling their calling you are not alone never allow the enemy to convince you that are under a curse or something is wrong with you. You’re perfectly normal, and the particular situation you’re going through somebody somewhere has experienced it. When people are offering the kind of support and understanding I described in this blog to you, do not push them away. Also do not make things hard than it needs to be for them, you’ll be hurting them that way.
I hope this blog provided some insight and understanding on what really goes on in the life of a person who is called to fulfill a higher calling in life, which people seldom see. Please leave me your comments or feedback, and feel free to share this blog with anyone who needs it. And don’t forget to subscribe to my blog to read all my new post. Till next time!