Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Getting to the Root of Things

In order to fully understand who we are, we have to first come to grips with our “roots” where we came from, our family of origin, our pasts, the previous experiences we had, and how all those things play a role in shaping who we are today. We have to understand our history, our culture, and the significance of certain events that took place in our life and how those things affected us. Some of the problems we struggle with today can be traced back to our past, and the best way to move forward and heal, is by dealing with those things from the roots.
There are certain things we cannot completely break free from unless we muster the courage to face our past, and deal with things that were never fully resolved. I know it can be pretty painful to re-open old wounds because it might bring out negative emotions out of us, but I think not dealing with things sooner will only create more pain in the future. Some people tend to pretend that a problem doesn’t exist so they dance around it and kinda of deal with it here and there. They go for counseling or seek prayers and advice from people, but they never really delve into the real issue behind the problem. The help they receives doesn’t work well for them because they have not opened up about the real problem, partly because they are not ready to face the situation head on. Unless we get to a point where we are finally ready to accept the truth, and we are tired of allowing our past control our future, we’ll never be truly free. Freedom comes with acknowledging and understanding the root of our problems and how it affects our lives.
Other people are living in some kind of denial about the reality of their situation, everyone else sees the problem but them, and even when people bring up the issue with him/her they either get defensive or withdraw. This problem is even worse than the first because whatever we afraid to talk about openly is already out of control in our life. Often times you find people blaming habits/behaviors/ lifestyle they display on things or on other people, they might blame their way of talking on their personality saying things like “that’s just me, I tell it like it is”, or blame their controlling attitude on their way of loving people and keeping them on track, or even blame their inability to take ownership for their actions on how they were raised. Of course these are just minor issues, but those little things can quickly add up and become a giant problem. There are also other issues that are harder to deal with as a result of the magnitude of the problem, such as unresolved issues like trauma one dealt with in childhood or adulthood, a break-up that left a big scar on one’s heart that seems to affect every new relationship, un-forgiveness towards a family member who may have betrayed or hurt us deeply, a lack of trust in people especially in romantic relationships which prevents intimacy, vulnerability, or transparency in a relationship, or even negative communication patterns we have acquired from the relationships we had growing up. All of these things are not conquered overnight, it takes time, patience, and understanding to overcome, and we can only overcome when we honestly face the reality of the situation.
Almost every problem we face in life can be traced back to roots, and it takes prayers, support, understanding, and honesty to deal with them. There are some wounds that take longer to heal because of the depth of the pain and damage done, there are some struggles we might never fully overcome which can become a source of healing to others. When you’re speaking to people on that particular subject, you are actually speaking to yourself because it is a constant battle for you.
We cannot pray away every problem we face in life, there are things that are meant to grow us. “Healing always involves facing truths we’d rather not face… and accepting responsibility we’d rather not accept (David Hawkins). The only way we can truly live out our purpose is by being authentic, and authenticity requires honesty, honesty about who we are, where we are, and where we are going. A part of who we are is connected to our pasts, the family’s we grew up in, and even the things we were exposed to growing up, and the knowledge we have of those things can help us understand ourselves better. Inspiration and motivation is good, but unless it is helping us deal and overcome issues in our lives, and helping us see patterns and behaviors that are holding us back, then it’s just a waste of time. I don’t think we are truly living unless we have come to terms with our pasts, and understanding how to deal with the root cause of issues in our life. Knowing the truth is the beginning of change, applying that truth is what truly sets us free.