Wednesday, April 8, 2015

The Kind of Support One Needs As they go through the Process of Fulfilling their Calling

Walking in the calling God has designed for you is a big shoe to fill. It will come with many trials and testing and will require a great deal of sacrifice on your part and also great faith to accomplish it. Nothing prepares you for the personal journey, you would have to go through to as you prepare to operate in your calling. Once you answer the call, you will be faced with many unforeseen circumstances, doubts, and times where you would be completely discouraged and be tempted to give up. I believe even though everybody has a calling on their life to accomplish something God has assigned them to do. There are just a few people who have a higher calling attached to their purpose in life, which involves a whole lot of people and is for a greater good. Due to the magnitude of that specific assignment and the price to be paid in fulfilling it, not everyone can fill that role. God will only give us what he believes we can handle. Even though we all want to be used by God in the world to make a great impact on a broad spectrum, if given the task not many people will succeed at it, because it’s easier said than done. The people we see and even admire as a result of their great faith, depth of wisdom in a particular area or about life in general, or people making a global impact, are the people God has entrusted with a high calling.
               In this blog I share some insights on the kind of understanding and support one needs as they journey through life to fulfill the call of God on their life. This applies to anybody who is currently going through the process of preparing for their calling or in walking in it, or who knows somebody who is presently at this point in their life. But this especially applies to people who have a great calling on their life to pastor, counsel, coach, or have the gifts of healing, clarity, or restoration and are able to minister to people in a deeper way that can create a long-lasting change in their life.
I wrote this blog to help people understand how to best support a loved one, friend, lover, family member, who is currently or has been going through a wilderness experience to prepare for their calling. It’s a lonely journey and often times people who go through this process do not have the right support and help they need to overcome this season of their life. I pray this blog helps you understand that loved one, partner, or whoever they are better and to help you become the presence of strength and support that they need as they go through their dry seasons. Or for the person going through this right now, I want you to know, “you are not alone in that journey”.
               One’s calling will not only impact the person who has been chosen for the assignment, but it will also affect people who are connected to that individual. For instance, the magnitude of your calling will greatly impact your family, your spouse, or future partner, your children, and your friendships/ relationships. Which is part of the reason why most relationships end in the process of fulfilling the call of God on your life. Because these friendship or relationships would need to change or end in order to accommodate the level of your calling. Even the dynamic of family relationships begin to change because a person’s ideas and philosophies on life are changing, and faith will no longer be a concept understood in their mind, but a reality that they would have to live and face on a regular basis.
 There is a certain degree of support and understanding that a person needs when they are been prepared for their calling or ministry; and this is not always well understood by people who are close to them or to people watching from the outside. Keep in mind the people going through all this changes are trying to make sense of what is happening to them, and they are not in a position to offer you answers or clarity of what to make of their life or their present situation. I know it’s not easy and sometimes it is painful not to know the details of what is going on in that person’s life. The reason you want to know is because you care about their wellbeing and may want to help in any way you can. However, believe me when I say this some of these people want to be open and share what’s happening to them and what’s going on; but they don’t really have the satisfactory answers to give you, that you may be looking for. Sometimes there is no understanding or answers when you are going through, what feels like a wilderness experience. They just know that’s where they are, they are not quite sure how they got there, or the way out of it. One way you can support them in this area, is by giving them the space they need, choosing to love them unconditionally even when you don’t understand what they are going through and not giving up on them. Giving people going through their wilderness experience, their space doesn’t mean you leave them completely alone or forget about them, it simply means you apply wisdom in how you deal with them. You have the discernment to know when to be present for him or her, and when to step back, you also know when to speak, and how to express your words in a kind and non-judgmental way.

The second kind of support these people need; is your unconditional love and understanding. Keep in mind these people are not going to be easy to love. They are going to push you away when they really need you to be there, there are going to be silent, when you need them to speak. They are going to be very sensitive during that time because God is working on their hearts as he prepares them to walk in their calling, and they are also going to be spiritually heightened during this time, because they need to fine- tuned their ears, and their spiritual senses to hear God during that time. The one voice they need to hear in this difficult season of their life. So at times they will overreact to something small, and/or become defensive in their response because they are trying to protect their vulnerability from what they perceive to be an attack coming from you. They may also be feeling a sense of failure or disappointment of letting the people they care about down, as well as a helplessness in not knowing what to do about it. This is partly due to the fact that they have not learned to differentiate their personal circumstances from who they are. They see what they are going through as who they are. Which is why they need you understanding and unconditional love at this time.
They need your patience our timing of when we want things done/accomplished differs from God’s timing. From our human standpoint, things may be taking too long, and it may seem like months have passed and even years and yet they don’t seem to be any visible change or progress in their circumstances/life. Plans that they have initiated haven’t been fulfilled, goals were not completely met, and they may have experienced one delay and disappointment after another. Which is slowing them down and affecting the changes they want to make. They may also be feeling the pressure spoken and unspoken from others who have expectations of them, which adds to their anxiety. This is where your patience comes into play because your timing of when you want to see things change or see your prayers answered may be completely different from God’s timing for them. For the person experiencing the wilderness experience, my advice to you, is to not rush things and to wait for God’s perfect timing on that matter. For the people greatly affected by the time is taking to get to one’s destination, my suggestion to you, is not to pressure them to make a decision before they are ready or before the timing is right. Exercise patience with them, sometimes they may not be the ones intentionally prolonging things.
Pray for them more than you nag or complain about them. I have found, prayer goes a long way, you can do more on your knees in prayer for them, than your words can. Remember the battle they are fighting is not physical but spiritual. In other words trying to fight or address a spiritual battle through physical means does not always yield the right results. It might make things worse because you will be responding out of frustration and anger instead of out of love & understanding. Fight this battle with God through prayer.  As you pray for them as often as you can, it softens their heart and opens their mind to open up to you more or receive the help or support you are offering. Prayer also allows God to work speedily in their situation.
Not every help or support you offer will be what they need. You will need a better understanding of what a person is going through, and the lens in which they are experiencing it to be able to provide/offer the right support to them.  And this understanding comes from your relationship with God, and how in tuned you are to his voice and promptings. Any support or help without an understanding of the big picture is not really helpful. You also have to keep in mind the timing of it, you may have a great suggestion or the solution to their problem, but if is brought at the wrong time it would not be well received. You also have to ask yourself before you offer any assistance; who is going to benefit from this help me or them. Is best to help when we know for sure we are not going to derive any personal gain or satisfaction from the people we are helping.
 Lastly for the people who are on the journey of fulfilling their calling you are not alone never allow the enemy to convince you that are under a curse or something is wrong with you. You’re perfectly normal, and the particular situation you’re going through somebody somewhere has experienced it. When people are offering the kind of support and understanding I described in this blog to you, do not push them away. Also do not make things hard than it needs to be for them, you’ll be hurting them that way.
I hope this blog provided some insight and understanding on what really goes on in the life of a person who is called to fulfill a higher calling in life, which people seldom see. Please leave me your comments or feedback, and feel free to share this blog with anyone who needs it. And don’t forget to subscribe to my blog to read all my new post. Till next time!