Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Art of loving yourself



One of the biggest problems most people face in life stems from a poor self- image. A lot of people are struggling with their identity, many times they ask themselves; why was I born this way? Why do I experience so many difficulties in life? Or why do I have so many weaknesses?... Sometimes it seems like life is a constant battle, of trying to find out who we really are, and what we were created to be.

Some of us go through life, wearing a lot of masks because we cannot face the truth about ourselves; on the outside we appear to be doing fine, but on the inside we seem to be falling apart. There are people who don’t feel good enough; they are constantly changing to fit a mode of what the world says they should be. Even with people who feel very confident, there are days when they wonder if they are living their lives in the way they are supposed to.

These people sometimes imagine what would have become of them, if they were raised differently, didn’t have to go through a particular problem, or face that painful incident (whatever it may be). We all have things, which we want to change about ourselves, areas where we need to grow; but there is freedom in realizing that we are not weird or awkward, but we are created just the way we are for a reason. God made us in his own image, and everything God created is wonderful & beautiful in every way.

The main reason God did not make us completely perfect, was in order for us to depend on him. If you are feeling insecure about your identity, or if you’re finding it hard to love yourself, you are not alone many people struggle with this same things. If these feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness are not entirely dealt with, it will show- up in other areas of our lives, like our work, our relationships, our health, and our overall well-being.

A person who doesn’t love his/herself in a healthy way will not be able to reveal a positive outlook on life, they wouldn’t be able to live life happy, or experience tremendous success in life. A lack of self- love can create monsters in our lives that can make our life more difficult. An example of such monster is insecurity, low-self- esteem, feelings of worthlessness, etc. and these monsters can spread like cancer to other important areas of our lives.

A person who has insecurities will not be able to perform excellently at work; they will become overly self-conscious, & over-analyze almost everything they do. When they do receive constructive criticism, they don’t take it well, it crushes their spirit.

A person who has a lot of insecurities & faces so many fears can also struggles in a relationship. These people find it hard to trust, and they can become very judgmental & critical about things their partner does. They can make a big deal of almost everything even the little things, they become very jealous and demanding, with their significant other, and find faults in what they do. A parent who doesn’t have healthy self- esteem will most likely become over-bearing, and controlling, with their children. These parents would want to interfere in the day- to – day activities of their children, even when these children become adults. Even in platonic relationships, low self-esteem and insecurity will cause one to have a lot of expectations in their friendships.

These people value loyalty and honesty in their friendship, but they are usually inconsistent in their behavior. These friends find it hard to forgive in their relationship, and when they do try to forgive, they never forget, they tend to nail you, each time you do something wrong again.

Lack of self- love can also affect our health. When people become obsessed or concerned with what they don’t have, what they can’t do, or who hurt them, it affects their health in a negative way. These negative emotions & feelings act as toxic substances in our bodies, which in turn causes us our immune system to be down.

The bible says that laughter is good medicine; it brings health to our bodies. Some studies even suggest that people who are always happy, and laugh a lot not only live healthy lives, but some even live longer. Time will not permit me to lists all the areas where a poor self- image, or lack of self- love can affect our lives, the price is always costly, which is why we cannot ignore this important issue.

The first step to step to wholeness & developing a healthy self- image comes from redefining who we are through Christ. The world offers us an unrealistic image of what we should be, and in an effort to meet those standards we lose ourselves. True freedom comes from knowing that we are loved & accepted by the one made us.

We didn’t create ourselves, so we cannot find our meaning, our purpose, and our true identity within ourselves. The second thing we need to do is to face the truth about ourselves: by accepting what we cannot change and choosing to work on areas where we can improve. Thirdly, we need to let go our pasts. We are products of our past, but we don’t have to become prisoners of it.

Our pasts shouldn’t be a place where we live, but somewhere from which we learn. Another thing we need to do, is not fight change, but embraces it.

As we go through life we are going to learn a lot and grow in the process. We shouldn’t be satisfied with the persons we were last year, we should always strive to be better individuals. Another area we cannot ignore is: recognizing the beauty in ourselves. Every one of us is unique & different in our own way. Acknowledge the good in you, recognize and accept the wonderful qualities you possess. Accept compliments you get from people, and carry yourself with grace & dignity. Lastly, Don’t try to be perfect all the time. Understand your strengths, & be familiar with your weaknesses. Do not try to become somebody you’re not; or make being perfect your priority, instead strive to become the very best you can be.

When we do not have a clear picture or an understanding of our identity, we either strive to be like somebody else, or something we are not. We compare ourselves to others, and feel as though we always fall short. But with God we can discover who we truly are, learn to love ourselves in spite of our weaknesses, and realize that who we are, is and always will be enough.

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